My house hold is 5 people including me. I care for my 2 teens and then there is my husband and his mother. Sadly both of the other adults in the house suffer from Mental illness. I have been married for 18 years. When I met my husband he was very out going and such a bright personality. I couldn't believe he was even interested in me. I was a single mother of a kindergartner, and he was a single father of a per-schooler. So together we already had the size family most stop at. Well, we have 3 amazing daughters together. Our to older children are grown and have started their own lives, and our oldest daughter together is in her first year of college.
We started out marriage out in the Seattle ares, but then with the loss of his job, we decided to move south. We now live in the California Desert!
When we got married I said that I took him better or worse, sick and health, rich or poor..... I have no problem with my vows! I love him, I have chosen to stick it out through a lot of years of sickness. I never thought the sickness I would be standing beside him through would be addiction, and mental illness. Little did I know when we were married that his mother and father bother suffered from extreme cases of Bi-Polar. I only met his father a few times, mostly around the time our youngest daughter was born. Her birth sent him on a manic episode that lasted for weeks. when he was medicated he stayed to himself. My mother-in-law was just always sick. I didn't know what was wrong with her. I just thought she was weird (which she is) and that she didn't like our kids (still debating that one).
So when we move to California, it really didn't affect her, she was married, and they decided to buy a RV and travel the states, hitting every casino possible! The made it to Pharump and small town in the mountain by Vegas. That is where my relationship with her started really. She would call my husband constantly telling him of all her illnesses. She would say she was having a stroke, then she would say they think she has cancer, and then it would be her heart, then something else, and so it would go for months, Mind you while with was happening he was fully in to his alcohol addiction. So her call would just give him another "reason" to have another drink. He is an only child so he is the only one that had the pleasure of the calls. Things would move from illness, to being unsafe and needing to leave her husband. Now her husband was very weird, but he was never mean to her. He might let her over medicate herself a bit so he could spend a little more time at the card table. But he never would have hurt her. So off we would go. Take the 5 hour ride on my husbands only day off. The kids would come with us, at least we could spend some time together in the car. Normally she would spend 4 days or so with us. Just long enough to decide that she didn't like the family life. The life where you put someone besides yourself first and would call up good ol' Jay to take her home. Or bug us until we took the day and drove her back.
Then on morning my husband called her and told her he had an alcohol problem. He needed to get away from the Desert and work through it. Decide what he was going to do. It was either the bottle or his family. Thank goodness he chose his family.
4 more years of the back and forth and finally the last call came for the pick up Jay was sick, There would be no more running away back to Jay. He died about 2 weeks after coming here 4 years ago.
At the time she was not taking her meds right, plus she had decided to take some of Jays too. Her rule of thought is, "if one is good then 2 or 3 has got to be better". We spent a few CraZy months getting her off of stuff and getting on the right stuff.
All the doctors talked about how healthy and strong she is, the only problem is her mental stuff! We decided to take her on, she had no one else. I did not work so what else should I do but her her servant? She had her good days and her bad days... The roller coaster is not my favorite ride! But the girls and I were learning how to enjoy life on the constant change of it. When her meds were right, and she wanted to, she could be fine to be around. The problem is she hated me giving out her meds. she wanted to have all of it and do it herself. So finally my husband got sick of hearing about it and gave her the meds back. When that was the start of many trips to the ER because she would mess them up and end up getting sick.
I don't know why I am still caring for this CraZy person but I am, then 7 months ago my husband had a bit of a break down. A full out manic episode and he was diagnosed with bi-polar also. He has not been able to work while they try to figure out the cocktail of meds he needs to take. That is the way I became the care giver to these two sick people. The thing is.... Her son is home all the time so why and I still her servant?
Today started out with a Dr.. appointment, where all the way I got to talk about her sister (whom HATES me) and how she wants to help "L" and "B"... They would love him to move away from me and the kids, and then they could have them all to themselves. I know GROSS, but really they would like his day to nothing but them. Then she spent most of her day in bed, but she was on her coaster... and boy was it taking those hills fast. She was mad when I went to bed, and then "V" come into our room "she is screaming for you".... Great she has fallen. I am trying to talk her into standing up. She is sitting on the floor keeping her feet and head of the ground, and then when I tell her to pull yourself up. to sit on her hands and feet so she could get up. after 20 minutes I got iritated and just grabbed her and forced her up.... Not the smartest thing I have done since I can already feel my back and armes. Go be thinking my might was up, I still needed to get her in bud get her the Go to Sleep meds. But don't you worry as she is screaming and she needs help and she cant get up, forgetting she is up, so goes t sit on her bed and slips off once again. I don't know if she thought we would call the med car to get her worked on. So here I am helping this woman that I didn't vow to take for, I in no way ever would have signed up for this. But I am here... Living the life of the CraZy house.
