Trying To Stay A~FLOAT

It's HOT....... I can't breath.......... That is what was said on the phone when B picked up his phone. That's what we heard at 5 AM from the other room. You ask why she called, well because she needs help getting up to go potty. BECAUSE IT IS HOT!!!!!!!!!
So off we go, to be violently awoken by the words vomiting from her. "I am going to die! why do you want me to die? why wont you help me? can't you see I can not move? I can't breath! look at me! see I can't breath!!!"
"Okay, Mom let me help you get to the bathroom," B being so calm, and trying to help when all he really wants to do is go back to sleep.
"Why did you not come help me when I called?"
"Mom, I just got out of bed and came in."
So off they go to the bathroom and back to bed, be take her temp and her blood sugar.... "What's wrong with me?"
"Maybe you just have yourself all worked up and need to take a tranquilizer. Have you taken your morning meds?"
"Yes, I have taken all my meds."
"Try to calm down, I will be back in, in a minute."
She starts screaming that the dogs have gone in her room so I go get them out and get her some tea. I do have to have a blood test. I leave her to "B" to watch over while I am gone. When I get back I have some of her meds that needed picked up so I go in to check on her. at this point she is very flesh and it scares me a bit. I ask her if she can walk to the car so we can go to the Doctor. She can't and at the point I decide that she needs the medics to come.
Living with a mentally ill person, is not what I signed up for when I got married the second time. Really it is odd, because my first husband was also mentally ill. I believe I have a lot of mental illness around me. What does that say for me? I could tell you what my siblings and parents think. That I let them control my every move. I try to to do right, for my husband, my children, and our families, but at time I really feel it is a loosing battle.
The other day I was on my favorite place "Pinterest" and I ran across a saying I think I will end with,
"Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when your trying to be everyone else's anchor"

Vacation is UPON us

So the trip is upon us, and B has made it safely to his destination. Mind you not without our fair share of drama. Yes, my sweet sweet 70 year old Toddler did not disappoint.  She tried to pull out all the stops, and tried to get me going so that there would be a BIG blow-up, to either kill the good times, or to get a ride to the destination she really wants. I try to remind myself that she does have an illness, that not everything she does is on purpose. I also understand that a lot of what she does is for her purpose! In the last 2 days I have decided that she is just not happy and would like to make sure that everyone around her is as unhappy also.
Just as I started typing, she has decided that she is sick, can't move, to hot, going to fall over, can't feel her feet, and just all out needing to maybe go to the doctor. We will see if there is a trip to the ER in my future, but if so it is only so that B can have something to really worry about while he is to be on vacation .  I could go on and on with the illnesses that are around me, I just wish at some point she could be happy. Maybe see that if we didn't care about her we would not have her in our house. Heaven knows it comes with it's fair share of  problems for the girls.
We will make it through this week and in the end hope that B has a really good time, and that she is still up and going when he gets home.